If you could walk in my shoes, You would see, I paid my dues, I worked hard my whole life through, Even though, I no longer do.
You would see how hard I tried. You would see how hard I cried. Can't you see my condition is real, Even though you can't see what I feel. Your support could lift me up. That would be amazing luck. My disability; you can't see, But I need you to believe in me.
Trust me when I say, A friend could make my day. Please lend a helping hand, With your support, I can stand. A little goes along way. A good friend won't turn away. A little kind word can lift my soul. A little kind word can make me whole.
Written By: Manuela McPhee on May 23, 2009
This week has been a good week for a couple of different reasons. My pain level this week has been pretty well, I say it's been down to five and lower most of the week. In my books this is a very good week overall. To top this week off I had applied for the Hardest Hit Fund Tennessee. I was notified that my loan was accepted and I was able to soon go in and sign my papers.
Charles Chronic Chat #5 Sometimes it's hard to know where to start writing. Every day I know I can describe to you how I feel physically, the pain that I have and describe it in detail. But what use is that to you as much as it is to me? I know the hardest thing for me to understand and to deal with is the acceptance of my now life and letting go of my before life. I never thought in all the years I've been alive that I would be disabled at the age of 40. Who would ever think that is, which life is, can end up as? Who would even want to dream that your life as you know it would end at the age of 40?
It is Tuesday morning at 5:02am. Saturday I went out for a drive to take pictures, hoping to get some shots of black bears. I know they would not be out posing and ready for me, but I was not able to find any. I did get some nice pictures of the Big South Fork River Gorge. I spent most of the day out, about 13 hours of driving, some walking, and reading about the Big South Fork Recreational area. Saturday night when I was home, I was in tremendous pain. I took at this time my third breakthrough pain pill.
Since my last post, I have pretty much laid on the couch until yesterday. I had to try and sell some Blu ray dvd’s so I can afford to go for a defensive driving class I need to go to, to save from losing my Driver’s license. I was not able to get much, so I did not take it. $55 for 20 Blu ray? I thought that was way too cheap.
Over this past week since my last post (my first post), I have finally decide to go on a day trip. Saturday morning I woke up at about nine o'clock in the morning and left here at 10 AM for a day of driving and touring. The first place I went was Falcon Crest Mansion in McMinnville Tennessee. It is a mansion that was built by falconer and I am not sure about the spelling. It was said that this mansion was built to bribe his wife into moving out and did boonies away from town.
Chronic Pain is a full time job. Going to bed and waking up in pain is very difficult. Learning how to deal with this is hard, and accepting the fate that you are in now is mind boggling. How does one learn to cope? How does one learn to deal?
I have been dealing with chronic pain now for 2 years and 4 months. I have yet learned to cope. I do know the times that I have learned to accept, is the days I cry. It’s like mourning your past life in order to be able to prepare for your current one. It’s a long rough road to this point in life of chronic pain.
Allow me to introduce myself: I am the poor you have never met and have no first-hand knowledge of. You are ABSOLUTELY WRONG in your statement that my income is going up, and I have the tax returns to prove it. Costs keep rising but my income has not in over 3 years. I live on Social Security and, if you get your way, it’ll be gone altogether. I am one of the lazy, fraudulent cheats commonly known as young disabled. Me and my doctors have told the Federal Govt. that I am a cancer patient/amputee and cannot work and never will again, and those chumps bought it and you are paying my exorbitant benefits AND medical expenses. I sit back (in my sick bed) and laugh while you are foolishly being a productive citizen, just like I used to be.